One-Hit Wonders

The thing about one-hit wonders is that they usually aren't.

Oh, sure, there's the occasional Baltimora or The Vapors, who produce an album or three but only one song gets any airplay.

There are also plenty of Gary Numans and Human Leagues who have a dozen hits in the UK but only one of them ever made it big in America.

But the most puzzling of all are the legion of artists who everyone agrees are one-hit wonders, but nobody can agree which one is the hit. No, I don't mean Soft Cell, where the club kids think it's "Sex Dwarf" but everyone else thinks it's "Tainted Love." I mean bands where any two random people are likely to come up with different answers.

Let's go through a few examples.

• Falco: "Der Komissar" or "Rock Me Amadeus"?
• The Waitresses: "I Know What Boys Like" or "Christmas (W)rapping"?
• The Smiths: "How Soon is Now" or "Panic"? (If it weren't so much fun pissing off Morrissey fans, I wouldn't include them on the list--but it is.)
• Suzanne Vega: "Luka" or "Tom's Diner"?
• Beethoven: "5th Symphony" or "9th Symphony"?
• Nena: "99 Luftballons" or "99 Red Balloons"?
• Men Without Hats: "Pop Goes the World" or "Safety Dance"?
• Twisted Sister: "We're Not Gonna Take It" or "I Wanna Rock"?
• Kylie Minogue: "Locomotion" or "I Should Be So Lucky"?
• Frank Stallone: "Far From Over" or "What, as in Sly's brother? He had a hit single? No way!"

As with many of the undisputable one-hit wonders, most of these artists (with the obvious exception of Frank Stallone) have multiple albums full of equally good songs, and legions of devoted fans.

For example, the entire nation of Austria is up in arms that Falco is considered a one-hit wonder in America (although the rest of Europe is just baffled that "Jeannie" isn't the one hit). Falco's three big hits (in America) are spread between his first and third albums, but he continued to release great music up until his untimely death--as artists ranging from Chemical Bros. to the Bloodhound Gang recognized, not to mention most of Europe, but few non-musicians in America even noticed.

It's sad, but the nice thing is, all those great Falco and Human League and Suzanne Vega albums are out there, ready to be downloaded via mininova^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H purchased from Amazon, hits or not.